The Last Letter

Why do friends come into life?? They say,life is hell without friends,I know it is worse;Maybe as I write,I wont be able to keep track as I am not able to think straight now.The 25th of november I thought was just like anyother normal day...Everything was ok if not fine till I reached college around 1:15 pm,was wandering here and there with nothing much to do about.And then our H.O.D. sir I saw,did a namaskar but noticed one thing!his smile wasn't there for the first time,and when I was close enough sir suddenly started:Arey,today I got a message about Jyoti,is it correct?I thought sir was asking about Jyoti's father who had passed away 17 days back,I said yes sir its true but he passed away around diwali... Sir stopped me when he said what spot death?I said no sir,he had died of heart attack. Sir said no I am asking about Jyoti Ranjan Mohapatra!I was suddenly shocked unable to relate Jyoti and spot death,I asked what sir did you get a message about??Sir said a msg saying Jyoti passed away in an accident!!

And then suddenly every single thing in my mind went astray;True,I had noticed a strange unusual silence,deadly and dangerously ominous all around the college,When I entered the college gate,my reason for being there was to help a friend normally we were a group of 20 students ready to help,but then we were only three of us at college when exams were due after 20 minutes.I called up another friend at college who was Jyoti's room mate and after he confirmed the news,I began to realise why our place seemed so empty,void of students void of friends void of everyone;All must have gone to see him and why not,Jyoti was a friend not only to me but to each one of us who were lucky to know him,be with him,live with him a friend as such who if ever we had asked him Jyoti you need to die,so that we wont come under trouble,he would have happily killed himself in a split second without giving it a second thought,such was his care for us and now today he has indeed left us all behind,I had decided not to write about Jyoti because he was a guy who always had made us laugh but today and all other days to come in my life he made me cry and then he is no more with us even to console us let alone joke and laugh with us!

The way I would always remember Jyoti smiling,loving,caring sacrificing demanding,yet standing up against the whole world for us for any matter silly or serious,I was indeed lucky to have a friend in him...I haven't known Jyoti for long,those four years of my engineering is all we were together and we had promised each other to remain friends for life.He kept his promise for life,but how am I to keep mine share;he left us all,when he is no more with whom am I going to be mad upon,about whom shall I joke around tease and make fun of... his departure has created a void in my life that no one can fill,there will be no another Jyoti who would call me names who would ask me my condition who would come to me at my one call not caring if it were necessary or not,I can not think now,the more I think,the heavier I feel at my heart,a rush of tears threaten me to break the barrier of my eye lids but I cannot cry I will not cry Jyoti would never in his life or after his death want to see us cry..so this is the least I can do..........

Since yesterday I have so many questions in my mind for God!Does He really exist,sometimes my heart answers Yes He does and yet some other times my mind stops believing in His grace altogether!From my childhood I have always been taught What God does is never without a purpose,never injustice to anyone. But now I fail to see the purpose God had in mind for taking Jyoti away from us,I fail to find out what justice it is God delivered to a lady who had lost her husband 17 days ago,lose her only son and that too in a truck accident for no fault of his own.......

goodbye dearest friend of all! there will never be another like you love you buddy!!You will always be with me in my heart till I die and then we meet once again.....

Someone I Know...

Someone I know is waiting for me
Somewhere out there is eager to see
Sometime will come when I will be free
Sometime I know I will not worry
Some day I know I will not be sorry
Sorry for what I am doing
Sorry for why I am not crying!
Oh you tears hold on! You have to wait
Wait until everything in my life is set
One day I believe I will get
To know myself,my identity,my love I bet
Then I promise, I'll let you flow at your rate
Till my face is soaked!
Till my throat is choked!
Till my looks are blurred!
Till my eyes are wet!
But sorry for now for you must wait...
This I promise I wont be late!!

My....

With the sweetness of sugar
With the softness of a flower
With the tenderness of a lover
With the varieties of colour!
She fills my life with pleasure
Her presence I feel with myself
Her smile is all I remember
Her talks is what I look for
Her memories are my life
I proudly yet humbly bow before her
For my heart yearns for her
For my heart waits for her!
No one else she is
Always my cover,my source of power...
My mother!My mother!My mother!..

The Two Warriors

(I)

In the dawn they stood facing each other

Staring each other in the eyes

They seemed in no mood to compromise

Whatever they had in mind,this was clear

That they to each other did not fear!

(II)

Slowly and slowly they advanced

It seemed to me as though they were both tranced

Then suddenly with the speed of lightning

Without any signal,without any warning

Pounced one upon the other!

And watching as I was

With fear I did shudder

For one was overpowering the other!!

He grabbed his opponent by his neck

Twas his move so swift his opponent couldn't check

It was real and not fake

That to win this duel was no walking over a cake!

(III)

There they were,undaunted and unmoved

They knew very well

Running away would do them no good

There they fought with each other

Neither drinking water,nor taking food

For some time hence such was the situation

Then watching as I was

I realised this was no more fun!

(IV)

At that instant both of them fell with a thud

I felt a shiver down the spine

As if I had touched a red hot iron rod!

Victorious,hale and hearty one of them marched away

The other humiliated,wounded,

Weak and heavy at heart returned,he had to give way..

(V)

Such were the two warriors

One seemed prey,the other predator

Down they had come swift yet loud upon each other

Such were the two warriors.......

THE TWO LIZARDS

My Fear,My Fantasy

There as I sat on the sea shore
Hearing the sea continuously roar
The waves hitting the sand more and more
I heard the sea siletly whisper
Calling me Come give me a hug my dear!
At first I was so very afraid,
Not knowing to swim,I thought
Entering the sea I would be dead!
Yet her voice was so assuring
I finally decided to go for the daring
And slowly as I etered the water
I was greeted by the waves' splatter
That moment I knew for sure
She wont harm me,I have nothing to fear!
Off I went into the sea farther
The waves kissing me asking to come near
Then when I looked back I could see
I had indeed come very far
For now the water was with my arms at par!
A few steps I had to retreat
And I was at a place I realised
When I looked at the setting sun I was mesmerised
Bowing before bounty Mother Nature
For feasting my eyes with ecstasy I thanked her
Finally it was time I thought
To enjoy my time with the sea I sought
There it was I had a feeling I fell in love
WIth the watery beauty below and the sky above
I had lost all tracks of time
How long I stood there I know not
Hypnotised by the beauty sublime!

Being Nostalgic

Time seems to have rolled on much too fast. It feels as if yesterday that I have lived my most cherished moments. Everyday I wake up to the so called new day and every night I sleep out waiting for the next day. Still this yesterday doesn’t look like passing away ever and ever atleast for once! Every morning I wake up telling myself “Yesterday is gone all that I have is today and I have to think of a better tomorrow” and how much do I succeed?? Yes for two, three or four days but then again one day at some point of time I my today, my mind my thoughts take me back to yesterday. And then the usual chain of happenings, those reminiscences of happy times, of sad ones, of victory, of failures, of silly fights, of stupid quarrels, and of times of extreme support from friends even at silly crazy ideas,… all start right from the day I started remembering events, its not that I have remembered all that has happened so far, nobody has, can or will remember that way but still there are some that never have gone from my mind, there are memories again which I would like to forget and never remember ever again!!
Sometimes I wonder what it, of which human memory is made up, is and how the most complex circuitry that of our brain records and stores those that we call memories, it sure isn’t some rewritable media or atleast a formattable disk, but it sure has an unimaginable storage capacity and the best thing is the way of retrieval. I suppose it’s a common thing for all of us isn’t it, to just sit down silent and lonely and start thinking about memories and the things we remember are each crystal clear to us as if they had occurred yesterday!! Oh God not again!! Why does this yesterday thing become so important in our life?
They say today is a gift, to utilize wisely for a better tomorrow. Each moment is precious, we often get cornered not to fool around and waste time. But in this hectic schedule, where life has become so monotonically defined that people wake up and start their daily chores in a pace that is always the same in general like waking up at a particular time, brushing teeth and continuing till you get ready to leave for your workplace and the next moment you look at your watch you realize time has indeed passed away fast! Sometimes we didn’t even have time to spare for taking a walk in serene surroundings enjoying the cool morning air or atleast rejoicing at the chirping birds! And this way today passes and soon at the end of the day becomes yesterday! All that we have when we go to sleep is again some memories of today that will soon while we sleep tonight become memories of yesterday when we wake up tomorrow!! Likewise the cycle of yesterday-today-tomorrow continues forever.
It is funny, the way we describe someone who lives in yesterday as being nostalgic and someone who keeps on pushing off things that one otherwise should have started today to start tomorrow as a procrastinator. No one can say that he/she hasn’t ever have had a row of nostalgia at any point of time.
When I look around myself be it in my friend circle, at our surrounding neighbors or for that matter the everyday society I come across I find a lot of nostalgics like me and procrastinators too but only a rare handful of people who live in the present. And mind you in no way does it mean that we, being nostalgics always remain in the past! All that I try to do is fill my today with so many memorable little things before it becomes yesterday, so that the next time I become nostalgic, I wont be sad.
I am but only one among the lot others who love the feeling of being nostalgic although sometimes I do become a procrastinator for a few days when matters like studying for the exams or sticking to a scheduled regimen show up; but yet again I am not the only one who procrastinates such matters!
Good or bad I know not, but I am happy trying to make the most of my today and enjoying the moments of being nostalgic thinking about my school, college and hostel life…….

Lost In Myself

Tonight on the terrace I stood
I tried to look as far into the roads I possibly could.
The full moon over my head beamed,
Of a fairy,standing there I dreamed!
Your thoughts came to me
I looked at the moon
A golden brightness surrounded her soon
Alone in the lonely sky she shone
Then came the stars one by one
Oh what a glorious sight that was!
Time seemed to come to a standstill.
Then suddenly an emptiness swelled inside me
An emptiness of you not being with me
When I was devouring this sight
An emptiness I knew I alone could not fight
An emptiness I know,no one but you can fill
There is one thing I need to be clear
There is only one thing I fear
An answer I have so longed to hear
When I remember you closing my eyes
Will I find you near?
My road to you as my destination
Seems to me all uphill
Do I need to tell you everything in detail still!??