My Lady's Smile

And that smile she gave to me
Oh I can live it on forever and forever again!
The way she talked,the way she gazed
The way she looked was all so wonderful!
As she always has remained calm,tranquil,reserve yet cool.
When I asked her where are you going to leave me?
She had said in the place at that point
Where the heavens kiss the earth!
Where the waves in the middle of the seas,cease to rise and fall!
When the sun begins to rise at west
I shall leave you then at your very best!
So curious we were for each other I felt
Yet not a thing parted between us
Such was the curiosity curbed
But yet her eyes were interrogatory!
I felt it as a fact for sure.
Still I tried but could not avoid the lure
To keep looking into her eyes so beautiful so pure...

A Voice Within...

When I walk through those familiar streets
Thinking of the old times
Away from this world I go, so lost in myself
A voice within me screams where are you?

When I sat with my friends all around
Happiness as if for long, lost and found
Heartily laughed away at the silliest jokes
I felt we belonged to another world
Where time had stopped running away
How much I wish in reality it could be this way!
It is then I am,lost again in myself
A voice within me screams where are you?

For the times we were close together
All of us in a group caring like hell for no other
When each day at class we fought over something new
Yet settling everything exchanging a smiles few
Remembering those days now,I am lost in myself
A voice within me screams where are you?

Many a times when I see myself now
I am scared finding out who am I?
Thinking where did it all go wrong
Is this not the same me I was searching for so long!
Here again I am lost in myself
Is that the same voice now I hear?
A voice which brings in me unexplained fear
The voice within me screaming where are you???

Thrilling Adventure

We went to the cafe in the morn

Beaming high with the thought of fun

We feared of getting caught so we had to run

We reached the classroom with emotions merry

And onto our benches we had to hurry

Only to escape our teacher's fury!!

Once in our seats we heaved a sigh

The thought of eating mixture in class secretly...

Made my spirits soar high...

And slowly and silently from handful to mouthful

With utmost care I did finish my share!

Hence ended the game of hide and seek

My teacher was left with no clue

Smartly and intelligently I gave him no hint

So that there be anything he could do....

Longing For You...

As seconds grow into minutes,I have waited
As minutes grew into hours,I have waited
As hours passed by into days,I have waited
Watching the hands of the clock running
One after another catching up and separating!
One hand leading,the other following...
So passes by the time and older grows the day
I keep on telling myself sometime today it will be my way!
As such this morning has turned into afternoon
And now the afternoon is approaching the evening..
Still I haven't lost hope still I am waiting!
For I know not of what else to do
Than to wait and watch out for you
Yet I know not what am I waiting for!
Cos yes I have kept open my door
He will step in,my love I am sure
One last wish I have my love
For once your voice is all I long to hear
I need a hug to fight out my fear
Oh! the night has never seemed more longer...
Oh!Here he is,my sweet darling lover
Of late I had taught myself not to weep....
So long we have our memories to keep
On seeing him I managed a smile
but couldnt hold back a drop of tear
Taking our moments of togetherness
In your arms My eyes I am,closing forever
My last words I want for you to remember
Nothing hurts more than waiting
Since I dont even know what was I waiting for anymore!......

Memories Of Saint Joseph's School

School dear why is it that I am unable to forget your memories?

Why is it that I am unable to break bonds with you?

Is it for my friends or my teachers or still is it for the teachings I learnt in your lap..

Is it for the love and affection I received from you?

Or is it for the attention you always gave to me...

My friends still come in my dreams...My friends still call me up

My friends still care for me and I continue

To think of them in my moments of happiness and sorrows

There were friends I fought with

There were friends I talked to

There were those I liked

There were some we joked

And still some others whom I let my secrets flow...

Thank you friends for helping me for cooperating me

For keeping my secrets I shall ever and forever be grateful to you..

How are you dear friends?Shall we ever meet again under the twilight and the dawn!!!

Or in the best of places

Right inside our school!!!!!

Do please let me know,for I long to hear from you...

I pray God for your well being wherever you all are

May you all remain ever gay and successful

May all your dreams come trueAnd in your heart by your dreams

If you ever think of me

Please please please O please

Please let me come through.....

The Last Letter

Why do friends come into life?? They say,life is hell without friends,I know it is worse;Maybe as I write,I wont be able to keep track as I am not able to think straight now.The 25th of november I thought was just like anyother normal day...Everything was ok if not fine till I reached college around 1:15 pm,was wandering here and there with nothing much to do about.And then our H.O.D. sir I saw,did a namaskar but noticed one thing!his smile wasn't there for the first time,and when I was close enough sir suddenly started:Arey,today I got a message about Jyoti,is it correct?I thought sir was asking about Jyoti's father who had passed away 17 days back,I said yes sir its true but he passed away around diwali... Sir stopped me when he said what spot death?I said no sir,he had died of heart attack. Sir said no I am asking about Jyoti Ranjan Mohapatra!I was suddenly shocked unable to relate Jyoti and spot death,I asked what sir did you get a message about??Sir said a msg saying Jyoti passed away in an accident!!

And then suddenly every single thing in my mind went astray;True,I had noticed a strange unusual silence,deadly and dangerously ominous all around the college,When I entered the college gate,my reason for being there was to help a friend normally we were a group of 20 students ready to help,but then we were only three of us at college when exams were due after 20 minutes.I called up another friend at college who was Jyoti's room mate and after he confirmed the news,I began to realise why our place seemed so empty,void of students void of friends void of everyone;All must have gone to see him and why not,Jyoti was a friend not only to me but to each one of us who were lucky to know him,be with him,live with him a friend as such who if ever we had asked him Jyoti you need to die,so that we wont come under trouble,he would have happily killed himself in a split second without giving it a second thought,such was his care for us and now today he has indeed left us all behind,I had decided not to write about Jyoti because he was a guy who always had made us laugh but today and all other days to come in my life he made me cry and then he is no more with us even to console us let alone joke and laugh with us!

The way I would always remember Jyoti smiling,loving,caring sacrificing demanding,yet standing up against the whole world for us for any matter silly or serious,I was indeed lucky to have a friend in him...I haven't known Jyoti for long,those four years of my engineering is all we were together and we had promised each other to remain friends for life.He kept his promise for life,but how am I to keep mine share;he left us all,when he is no more with whom am I going to be mad upon,about whom shall I joke around tease and make fun of... his departure has created a void in my life that no one can fill,there will be no another Jyoti who would call me names who would ask me my condition who would come to me at my one call not caring if it were necessary or not,I can not think now,the more I think,the heavier I feel at my heart,a rush of tears threaten me to break the barrier of my eye lids but I cannot cry I will not cry Jyoti would never in his life or after his death want to see us cry..so this is the least I can do..........

Since yesterday I have so many questions in my mind for God!Does He really exist,sometimes my heart answers Yes He does and yet some other times my mind stops believing in His grace altogether!From my childhood I have always been taught What God does is never without a purpose,never injustice to anyone. But now I fail to see the purpose God had in mind for taking Jyoti away from us,I fail to find out what justice it is God delivered to a lady who had lost her husband 17 days ago,lose her only son and that too in a truck accident for no fault of his own.......

goodbye dearest friend of all! there will never be another like you love you buddy!!You will always be with me in my heart till I die and then we meet once again.....

Someone I Know...

Someone I know is waiting for me
Somewhere out there is eager to see
Sometime will come when I will be free
Sometime I know I will not worry
Some day I know I will not be sorry
Sorry for what I am doing
Sorry for why I am not crying!
Oh you tears hold on! You have to wait
Wait until everything in my life is set
One day I believe I will get
To know myself,my identity,my love I bet
Then I promise, I'll let you flow at your rate
Till my face is soaked!
Till my throat is choked!
Till my looks are blurred!
Till my eyes are wet!
But sorry for now for you must wait...
This I promise I wont be late!!

My....

With the sweetness of sugar
With the softness of a flower
With the tenderness of a lover
With the varieties of colour!
She fills my life with pleasure
Her presence I feel with myself
Her smile is all I remember
Her talks is what I look for
Her memories are my life
I proudly yet humbly bow before her
For my heart yearns for her
For my heart waits for her!
No one else she is
Always my cover,my source of power...
My mother!My mother!My mother!..

The Two Warriors

(I)

In the dawn they stood facing each other

Staring each other in the eyes

They seemed in no mood to compromise

Whatever they had in mind,this was clear

That they to each other did not fear!

(II)

Slowly and slowly they advanced

It seemed to me as though they were both tranced

Then suddenly with the speed of lightning

Without any signal,without any warning

Pounced one upon the other!

And watching as I was

With fear I did shudder

For one was overpowering the other!!

He grabbed his opponent by his neck

Twas his move so swift his opponent couldn't check

It was real and not fake

That to win this duel was no walking over a cake!

(III)

There they were,undaunted and unmoved

They knew very well

Running away would do them no good

There they fought with each other

Neither drinking water,nor taking food

For some time hence such was the situation

Then watching as I was

I realised this was no more fun!

(IV)

At that instant both of them fell with a thud

I felt a shiver down the spine

As if I had touched a red hot iron rod!

Victorious,hale and hearty one of them marched away

The other humiliated,wounded,

Weak and heavy at heart returned,he had to give way..

(V)

Such were the two warriors

One seemed prey,the other predator

Down they had come swift yet loud upon each other

Such were the two warriors.......

THE TWO LIZARDS

My Fear,My Fantasy

There as I sat on the sea shore
Hearing the sea continuously roar
The waves hitting the sand more and more
I heard the sea siletly whisper
Calling me Come give me a hug my dear!
At first I was so very afraid,
Not knowing to swim,I thought
Entering the sea I would be dead!
Yet her voice was so assuring
I finally decided to go for the daring
And slowly as I etered the water
I was greeted by the waves' splatter
That moment I knew for sure
She wont harm me,I have nothing to fear!
Off I went into the sea farther
The waves kissing me asking to come near
Then when I looked back I could see
I had indeed come very far
For now the water was with my arms at par!
A few steps I had to retreat
And I was at a place I realised
When I looked at the setting sun I was mesmerised
Bowing before bounty Mother Nature
For feasting my eyes with ecstasy I thanked her
Finally it was time I thought
To enjoy my time with the sea I sought
There it was I had a feeling I fell in love
WIth the watery beauty below and the sky above
I had lost all tracks of time
How long I stood there I know not
Hypnotised by the beauty sublime!

Being Nostalgic

Time seems to have rolled on much too fast. It feels as if yesterday that I have lived my most cherished moments. Everyday I wake up to the so called new day and every night I sleep out waiting for the next day. Still this yesterday doesn’t look like passing away ever and ever atleast for once! Every morning I wake up telling myself “Yesterday is gone all that I have is today and I have to think of a better tomorrow” and how much do I succeed?? Yes for two, three or four days but then again one day at some point of time I my today, my mind my thoughts take me back to yesterday. And then the usual chain of happenings, those reminiscences of happy times, of sad ones, of victory, of failures, of silly fights, of stupid quarrels, and of times of extreme support from friends even at silly crazy ideas,… all start right from the day I started remembering events, its not that I have remembered all that has happened so far, nobody has, can or will remember that way but still there are some that never have gone from my mind, there are memories again which I would like to forget and never remember ever again!!
Sometimes I wonder what it, of which human memory is made up, is and how the most complex circuitry that of our brain records and stores those that we call memories, it sure isn’t some rewritable media or atleast a formattable disk, but it sure has an unimaginable storage capacity and the best thing is the way of retrieval. I suppose it’s a common thing for all of us isn’t it, to just sit down silent and lonely and start thinking about memories and the things we remember are each crystal clear to us as if they had occurred yesterday!! Oh God not again!! Why does this yesterday thing become so important in our life?
They say today is a gift, to utilize wisely for a better tomorrow. Each moment is precious, we often get cornered not to fool around and waste time. But in this hectic schedule, where life has become so monotonically defined that people wake up and start their daily chores in a pace that is always the same in general like waking up at a particular time, brushing teeth and continuing till you get ready to leave for your workplace and the next moment you look at your watch you realize time has indeed passed away fast! Sometimes we didn’t even have time to spare for taking a walk in serene surroundings enjoying the cool morning air or atleast rejoicing at the chirping birds! And this way today passes and soon at the end of the day becomes yesterday! All that we have when we go to sleep is again some memories of today that will soon while we sleep tonight become memories of yesterday when we wake up tomorrow!! Likewise the cycle of yesterday-today-tomorrow continues forever.
It is funny, the way we describe someone who lives in yesterday as being nostalgic and someone who keeps on pushing off things that one otherwise should have started today to start tomorrow as a procrastinator. No one can say that he/she hasn’t ever have had a row of nostalgia at any point of time.
When I look around myself be it in my friend circle, at our surrounding neighbors or for that matter the everyday society I come across I find a lot of nostalgics like me and procrastinators too but only a rare handful of people who live in the present. And mind you in no way does it mean that we, being nostalgics always remain in the past! All that I try to do is fill my today with so many memorable little things before it becomes yesterday, so that the next time I become nostalgic, I wont be sad.
I am but only one among the lot others who love the feeling of being nostalgic although sometimes I do become a procrastinator for a few days when matters like studying for the exams or sticking to a scheduled regimen show up; but yet again I am not the only one who procrastinates such matters!
Good or bad I know not, but I am happy trying to make the most of my today and enjoying the moments of being nostalgic thinking about my school, college and hostel life…….

Lost In Myself

Tonight on the terrace I stood
I tried to look as far into the roads I possibly could.
The full moon over my head beamed,
Of a fairy,standing there I dreamed!
Your thoughts came to me
I looked at the moon
A golden brightness surrounded her soon
Alone in the lonely sky she shone
Then came the stars one by one
Oh what a glorious sight that was!
Time seemed to come to a standstill.
Then suddenly an emptiness swelled inside me
An emptiness of you not being with me
When I was devouring this sight
An emptiness I knew I alone could not fight
An emptiness I know,no one but you can fill
There is one thing I need to be clear
There is only one thing I fear
An answer I have so longed to hear
When I remember you closing my eyes
Will I find you near?
My road to you as my destination
Seems to me all uphill
Do I need to tell you everything in detail still!??

Remembering You On Your Birthday

Today when I thought of you,I got no other day
As special as this to say a thank you!
I remember the day you once told me
I am still a child!
Few years had passed then,Few years have passed now
But wait! For you must hear I am not a child anymore.....
Now when I look back to where had it all started?
The beginning,the progress,the end all seems silly to me.
Cos I was still a child then,But am not one anymore!
The times I spent with my friends I will always remember
Those moments happy and sad at school,I will cherish forever
Cos I was still a child then,But am not anymore!
Being a friend of mine,you have always taught
One thing now that I have never forgot!
To live my life as it comes my way
To stop worrying myself out night and day.
My life has moved on,as have you
Cos I was still a child then,But am not anymore!
All that I want is to wish today
May this day be a very memorable,blessed and happy birthday!!!
P.S.This I will always remember
My life has for me lots more in store
I was still a child then,but am not anymore...not anymore.....

Her Boon Of Bliss

Slowly and silently they started to fall
Drop by drop as if answering a thirsty call
I was drawn into the majestic exhibition
Of heavenly beauty and eternal satisfaction
I started walking out of the door
I felt I was welcomed to the core!
For gradually the drops grew bigger
For gradually the roar was heavier!
Still I could not let go off that embrace
However hard I tried
My steps I could not retrace!
And far I went so far I went!
I was watching the water fill up every crack and vent
The water was dripping me wet
And the feeling was joyously wonderful I bet!
An aroma of freshness was in the air
The whole of Earth suddenly looked so green so fair
I realised with the advent of monsoon
The Earth had indeed recieved a unique boon!!

I Dont Know Why!!

This morning I woke Up at 5:00,not my usual time to rise up nowadays;It was a habit long compromised,since the day I left our college! But today as I opened my eyes,still half asleep I had the thoughts"BUS WILL ARRIVE AT 6:30 AT MY STOPPAGE,GOT TO GET THERE ASAP" or will miss another day of fun;With this in mind I immediately got back my senses,on looking around I found something that broke my heart,
NO! these surroundings aren't the ones I was used to while going to college;YES!! Indeed I was at the luxurious cozy enclosure of my sweet home and was still sitting on my bed! But suddenly I realised I was alone,lonely,neither the wake-up alarm tones from my roommates nor the usual "ABEY UTHUNU BEY COLLEGE JIBANIKI AJI" to tell to my bed partner! There was no one else in the room but me.I felt very uneasy at the happenings and then a train of memories flooded my brains,and with each of them I began to realise how much my college,my friends(and our teachers)too,the hostel life of 2 years at Patia and Vss Nagar each one of them meant to me.And I didn't want to stop those thoughts;
After all,these were priceless treasures exclusively mine,I will not say unique,because luckily there were lots of friends to share with,whether it be bunking class or escaping from college midday,be it naughtiness inside the class,or sleeping during lectures,be it teasing,be it playing pranks,or be it back stabbing teachers(Hey! we never tried this one ever)but we made fun of all of them hahahaha at their back of course!!!
I was hell yes enjoying my college days! I never thought I will write about my college,never thought that thinking of those days,those moments,those friends would ever stir me up this way! Someone has rightly said "It is always at the end of something that we realise how beautiful the beginning was!"And yes this I can in fact, all of us I know at my heart can stand up and proudly say "I have been the first batch of REC,I have seen its inception,the steady build up,the gradual change and beautifying surroundings;I have lived through four glorious years of my life being a part of REC that unfortunately will never ever come back again to be relived.Happy or sad,this is a bitter fact!!
MISS YOU ALL DEAR FRIENDS

A Greeting Not Long Before Being Forgotten

O my dearest friend!
I wish you were here with me now.
So that I could greet you on your birthday
But I moan and am sad to think you are not near me
Yet I hope there will be a time whenWe meet each other and find ourselves to ourselves very near So that both me and you can talk and simultaneously hear
About our past days and sweet memories
When we tried to our beautiful thoughts cherish!
But O my friend please dont forget as it is a fact very clear
That to a true friendship,there is really no end near......

My Thoughts!

If You Love Someone Madly & Some Other One Loves You Madly,Who Would You Choose?
Did it ring a bell?It sure did for me when one evening my cousin asked me this question conditioning my answer should not hurt anybody!!!!
And this is all I could say:
Love is all about giving and not expecting the return.So definitely in the first place it seems that the person you love madly matters the most to you,but yet again in this matter expressions are not to be neglected.It is said that thoughts and feelings remain forever as such unless converted into words and expressed rightly.It is here that the person who loves you madly comes into the picture.There are innumerable examples that prove true love has stayed incomplete due to lack of expressions!
Hence even if you know that the person loves you madly, it is the expression of her love that is most important both for you and for her.It is important for her because she will feel confident that she had let her feelings out to her beloved and it will matter to you because you have got to convince her optimistically and let the truth dawn upon her that you are in love with another person politely so that she does not go on to do something that is not expected of her!
You have to make her believe that love is all but to give give and give.You got to confide her that the truth is that the world is as it is because it stands on hope,faith and trust among people and that the person who loves you madly will remain as good a friend as trustworthy and caring like no oher in your life and no matter how fortunate you will be in your pursuit of love,that the person who loves you madly will remain a friend to you and you will always be there for her as a friend to fall back upon in times of despair.
Hence both are equally important in their own places and to say who is more important to choose is like asking the fiery sea as who matters to you the most-The innumerable tiny rivers that as friends make you who you are!or The shores and the beach which bear your continuous hamering with unruly waves like a patient observer and yet loving you more and more with your every blow!!

My Solitude My Angel

I see thousands of questions in her eyes
A beautiful maiden she has grown upto agewise
Her beauty of silence,her charm of excellence
Her smile of innocence,her talks of no nonsense
Sometimes makes me wonder
At an age as her's so tender
How can one be so mature!!

When I am alone with her
She speaks of no other person whoever
Yet for me she wishes so playfully
And blesses me always joyfully
With her my time flies by which I spend
I wish then that time had had no end!!

At my times of wildest joy
Tears of happiness together we silently cry
And at times of heartbreaking sorrow
She gives me a ray of hope for tomorrow
I know not whether it is destiny or mere coincidence
In her company I always get back my lost confidence
For me she means more than a heavenly angel
Without her I know for sure my life would be like hell!!

My Beauty In Motion

Alone looking at the night sky
To understand your motion when I try
I fail to interpret or to reason why
Could you tell me oh ageless beauty
Among patches of clouds dark and white
Who are you searching for?
You seem to me as if you are in a hurry
Is there anything that is making you worry!

As I stand and look at you from far away
The breeze silently whispers as if to say
Isn't she beautiful in her gait?
To which I reply, Stop!Let me fill my eyes with heavenly pleasure wait!
I see you engulfed in an aura of your own
I wonder what I would do when you are gone?

The wind,the trees,the stars and the flowers
All are happily humming in one choir
The music of love,which seems to stretch to eternity
I know my waiting wont go empty
I believe you wont disappoint,but promise me one thing,promise me to return soon
To me watching you is a boon
Dont be late,keep your promise
Oh! beautiful moon.