Well since past few days, months or I should say years I have been regularly haunted by this question whenever I sit down lonely having nothing much to do or even while just strolling around but still cant find an answer which is what disturbs me the most.
I guess by now, you dear reader would have already figured out as to what is the question?? Yes you are right! No surprises it is indeed “Is This Love?”
I have asked this to myself so many times considering the pros and cons, weighing my arguments and cross arguments to myself in every possible combination every time hoping to arrive at a conclusion, to find out the answer but am disappointed every time.
I mean admitted I am yet to call someone my girlfriend (someone who exists and is real) yet to fall in love with a human going by that criteria, but I have also fallen in love in so many sights, so many ways and am happy for that. Still time and again when this question crosses me, I am only reduced to square one fighting with myself allover again to get over that feeling!
Before going any further may I please ask you one favor! Please don’t come to a conclusion and get an idea about what sort of person I am and refrain yourself in terming me as someone lovelorn or failed in love or a frustrated soul atleast!!
I am sure by now a lot of you are wondering why then am I writing such a post wasting my time and yours too, let me explain because I am not finished yet, because I wanted someone with whom I could share this trouble but then realized a lot of people wont understand who don’t know me well as may be the case with you but no offence, this is true both for me and you too. Still I have tried to communicate my thoughts to you through this post with the hope it serves the purpose well!!
My life till now can be broadly classified into two phases my school life and my college life(both post schooling and graduation). During schooling I fell in love so many times I cant even remember the count as say my friends, you know these associations of a girl with a boy and all the teasing and leg pulling that follows.
It was normal then, for me to think and ask myself Is This Love? But a large part of it honestly was both a pleasurable and enjoyable thing that still continues to be till now.. I say so because those girls at school that were my then girlfriends thanks to the courtesy of my friends, are still some of my best friends I will ever have! and that in no ways is supposed to mean I don’t have any boys as my best buddies.
It was infatuation normal at that time, then came college where it was pretty much a daily thing to be teased around and to tease my other friends with girls, the names of which some were known,others imagined to be existing matching my friends’ names. How long does it take to think a name when the objective is to tease a close friend and have fun?? Less than a minute of course.The whole exercise was fun including the blushing the reaction the aftermath all of it.
Here I would like you to spare a few moments asking yourself these questions: what were the circumstances, the events, the memories or the meetings that ultimately led you ever to ask yourself Is This Love? If at all you have asked this to yourself, there must be someone on your mind at that time, generally the way you dealt with that person,his/her smile,look,almost everything in him/her you can possibly imagine about your perfect partner. This is in a virtual world that of your mind where you are free to associate,bond,imagine and fantasize without any limits to the level of your imagination!
But you know what! The reality is a little bit different,its never the same “easy as a cake walk”stuff in the real dynamic world. What I mean is people do fall in love and a lot of them do. But what hurts is the way,being in love has changed. Today only a rare, lucky ones find and hold on to their true love in their partners,some still luckier take it to the next level and become life partners but in a society as traditional and conservative as ours, for many of those who are in love,being married is still a distant dream come true when it asks to be brought to the notice of their family,the results running away from home and still extreme couples committing suicide for their love….
Cant things change a bit,cant parents give a hearing to their own children in matters of love? Cant the children think about the plight of their parents after their death? I believe all this will change but will take a long long time from now.
Hey wait wait! Are we not forgetting another class of lovers the doomed class!! Shocked reading doomed?? Well sorry I tried hard but failed to find a term more pertinent to call to those persons for whom reasons yet unknown; falling in love itself was a sin altogether!
Why am I saying so? Because being in love no longer remains a pleasurable thing to be happy about, as it used to be once upon a time. Nowadays it seems to be more of pain both physical and psychological, why else would one see break ups and affairs on a regular basis at college,do you think breaking up is easy, no its not! if you have ever broke up with somebody you will know better, not for the girl or the boy also. Things are alright until limited to not more than breaking up and moving on with respective lives; it becomes worse when love turns revengeful and then the consequences are both undesirable and frightening.
These days not only news channels and news papers, every media seems to have a story of extremism in love to tell!! The victim in most or all cases the girl,lady, her fault?? She walked out of a relationship saying she wasn’t comfortable so she doesn’t deserve to live!! She rejected me for another guy so she is so proud of her beauty,throw acid on her and let her live a cursed life ever after. Such stories are not framed out of imagination but are witness to the horrible plight of people in love.
Its not that it’s the females always who have to bear the torture, maybe we come to know their story because they in general have the benefit of public backing and support,and in a male dominated society as us,the guys dont come out of their sufferings in love for fear of being bullied around if they share their grief, still a stronger reason being it would hurt their male ego and pride….
Thinking all these things and many more such issues, I am scared, sometimes feeling sorry for the victims of such unjust violence in love and at other times being thankful I wasn’t born a girl in the first place..
With of all these turmoils in my mind I find myself being brought back time and again to the same old question when I hear them say: they were supposed to be in love or it is the result of love! Is This Love???
Its not that it’s the females always who have to bear the torture, maybe we come to know their story because they in general have the benefit of public backing and support,and in a male dominated society as us,the guys dont come out of their sufferings in love for fear of being bullied around if they share their grief, still a stronger reason being it would hurt their male ego and pride….
Thinking all these things and many more such issues, I am scared, sometimes feeling sorry for the victims of such unjust violence in love and at other times being thankful I wasn’t born a girl in the first place..
With of all these turmoils in my mind I find myself being brought back time and again to the same old question when I hear them say: they were supposed to be in love or it is the result of love! Is This Love???
